Saturday, May 22, 2010

Men

We always find ourselves unable to resist clicking on those articles that claim to know "what he's really thinking" — so when we came across this man's point-of-view piece, we were immediately intrigued. Here's an inside look at the male psyche that helps us better understand the supposedly simpler sex. —Glo

By Brendan Tapley for Woman's Day

What makes a man? The mythology surrounding this question still looms large. So much so that men often experience a hidden battle: whether their decisions should be self-determined or dictated by how masculine they will seem to others. Do I let my wife know how much something is bothering me or will that come across as not being in control? Do I speak my mind at work or does that risk being seen as too emotional? If I take a stand on a principle that bucks the boys' club, will I lose status? Luckily, women can be strong advocates for change by encouraging men to evolve and expand beyond the stereotypes. Take a look at the 10 biggest falsehoods about men that, when debunked, can lead us to true masculinity.

Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional

This may come as a surprise, but men are probably more emotional than women. How is this possible? Unlike femininity, masculinity doesn't permit emoting on a regular basis, so men are like Victorian novels: placid on the outside, but concealing a deep emotional life within. Convincing a man that it is masculine to open up — in fact, it takes more cojones to do so — is a cause women should embrace. By encouraging men to reveal their true feelings, women are helping them release pent-up emotions, leading to a happier and healthier guy.(Psychologically I would have to agree that repressing ones emotions is nt healthy, for anybody. Everybody has feelings every day, dozens of them, me included. Whether I choose to demonstrate those emotions is another question. I am more likely to do so if I feel safe about the woman I am expressing them to, or the situation I am in.)

Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most

Yes, sex is important to men. It's one of the ways we access our imaginations. (At times, it might seem like the only way we do.) But one of the big secrets about men is how much they long for real solidarity with their partner. And sex, because it makes the imagination literal, is something we rely on to achieve that bonded feeling. Next time you see your mate's desire for sex as chauvinistic, remember that he may be asking for proof that you and he are the team he fantasizes about.(Sex can be a profound bonding experience. It can also be just relief and satisfaction. For me it is frequently some of both. I want her on my team, sexually, and in every other way, as I plan to be there for her. It does set my imagination and fantasies free but I am frequently reluctant to share them with her for fear she will think less of me if I do. I would prefer if she shares some of her fantasies with me first, to open that door, and make it okay to do. That, of course, is a safer position for me. Gentle fantasies and mild kink first, maybe.)

Myth #3: A Man Is His Job

For most men, the pressures of work stem from two things: a desire to excel at something (a principle of manhood we were taught as boys) and a need to contribute to the well-being of our families. But duty is not the same as identity, and what one does is not the same as who one is. This is true for women, too; but, culturally, men are more defined by their professions, which can keep their passions — what really identifies them — invisible. Talking with men about their interests is a great way to get away from the conventional ways they are seen — even how they see themselves — which will help ensure a more unconventional (and improved) masculinity. (Getting us to talk about our interests, and even better, our passions is a great way to get to know us in general, and me specifically. Sports are a passion for many guys and I find women who can intelligently discuss sports to be very intriguing because they have taken the time and effort to learn about one of my passions, and we have an instant bond. They dont have to know all things about all sports, one in-depth field is very nice, and attractive to me. I realize they probably got their information and interest from their Dads and/or brothers, but that is just fine with me. To be honest, even if they show an interest in one of my sports I would be more than glad to teach her all I know. Sex IS an indoor sport, right?)

Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures

“Men are underdeveloped” is the most effective propaganda the male sex has created. Your belief in our limitations brings certain “rewards” (i.e. expectations are lowered; bad behavior is tolerated; apathy becomes a non-negotiable). Women, the usual victims of these limitations, most likely buy into the idea because it elevates them. The thing is, men are not limited; and if women decide to sacrifice a little superiority, they will gain better treatment by men. Just look at the vibrant imagination of any five-year-old boy or recall the way past boyfriends have courted you — we can be highly animated, curious, loving and devoted. Holding your guy to a higher standard may not get thanks right away, but it will actually liberate him to be a more expansive, and more real, man.(We are like kids. Holding kids to a higher standard will pay off in the long run too. Dont let us off too easy or too often or the bad behavior will continue. We are NOT limited, and given a chance, will show you better. We start with limitations, like everybody, but with patience, love, and support we can blossom too.)

Myth #5: Men Hate to Commit

Masculinity is one of the most oppressive forces, as far as behavior goes, because it demands that men appear “tough” at all times — thereby avoiding any overt displays of love and affection, which can be detrimental to a relationship. How often have you witnessed a man shut down during a tender moment or make a joke to detour from it? The toll this eventually takes is enormous, depriving men of the riches of intimacy — one of which is completely giving over to a true and loving partnership. While men may appear to prize freedom and independence, in their heart of hearts they truly value loyalty. In standing by her man, a woman can fill a primal absence. And once he realizes you have his back, he will start to show his feelings in his own way — which may not be “traditional” romantic gestures, but they will be gestures nonetheless.(Many women have this natural and seemingly easy ability to become intimate quickly and deeply, which is something I have always admired, and feared. At the same getting too close too quickly scares me, and usually causs me to push them away. I realize it is probably my own insecurities showing up, and maybe I am pushing them away because I am afraid they will get to know the real me, and reject me, so I reject them first. Maybe all of that is just psychological mumbo-jumbo. Maybe I am just afraid I will not measure up to them in the long run.)

Myth #6: Guys Don't Communicate

Men like to talk — have you ever tried asking us the best way to get somewhere? But we often censor ourselves based on how we think women might react to a deeper honesty. So, there are times we just don't bother. This is unfortunate, because men's internal lives are interesting and telling, and getting to know them by suspending judgment will encourage a man to be more open and more revealing to you.

Myth #7: A Woman's Looks Are Everything

Non, nein, nope. A woman's beauty is a thing to behold, and sometimes we can behold it at the wrong times (like when passing another woman on the sidewalk). But that's just visual titillation. The stimulus that matters most reaches our hearts and minds. A woman with a laser-like intelligence, sharp sense of humor and a compassionate soul — now, that's a centerfold.(Yep, I couldnt agree more. I look for a woman that adds love and feeling to my life. Not hysterical, constantly changing, dramatic, loud emotions, just feelings that are reflective of her and the situation.)

Myth #8: Men Don't Take Things Personally

This is certainly a myth we would like to believe about ourselves. Nothing fazes us: We're breezy, easy, confident. Yeah, right. The fact is that men take many things personally — the light teasing about our paunch, the less-than-stellar bedroom performance, the snide colleague at work — but the principles of masculinity prevent our admitting them. The problem is, these things come out in ways that truly affect us. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men commit suicide four times as often as women, and suicide currently ranks as the seventh leading cause of death for men. Watching for when a guy might be repressing reactions for the sake of masculine pride, and asking him to forgo that habit, is one way women can literally save a man's life.(I take certain things personally and they are usually those things that offend my sense of personal dignity and values. Sometimes those things are hurtful; other times they are uplifting if they are positive. Sometimes I take things as a challenge to my skills or competency, and I use those things for motivation, like when somebody says I CANT do something. As I grow older there truly ARE more things I really CANT do, physically, and I am usually okay with that.)

Myth #9: Guys Don't Listen to Criticism

It's hard to argue that this one is a myth. But the reason men can be diva-like when it comes to criticism is because said criticism is rarely delivered in a way we understand. Women tend to talk around the problem, but it's okay to get in our faces every now and then and just say what's on your mind. Sometimes, the greatest act of love is taking someone seriously enough to risk offending them. In a weird way, those tough conversations get at the truth and, in calling attention to our blind spots, are about helping us. It's when couples no longer think it's worth the trouble that they have to worry. So, next time, try some tough love: We can take it. (I do not often admit it but I like a woman who will gently take me on, but in a helpful and positive way. Nobody likes criticism, but constructive advice can be absorbed fairly easily, especially if you know the one offering it is now, and has been for a while, in your corner. Of course we should do the same for the women in our lives.)

Myth #10: Boys and Girls Are So Different

Okay, so your son prefers horseplay and trucks, and your daughter likes dolls and playing dress-up. Who cares! The things that matter in life — whether your kids are ethical; whether they are kind to others; how they achieve self-fulfillment — are as important to recognize in adults as they are in children. Just as you wouldn't indulge your son's overconfidence because that seems “male,” don't allow your husband to get away with things that hurt your feelings because “that's how guys are.” The fact is, when it comes to men and women, our mythologies are — and should be — about living more authentic lives. (Boys will be boys only goes so far. We should be acountable for our actions, like anybody else.)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

'Safe' mortgages going bust, too

Alarming new data show more than a third of new foreclosures targeted fixed-rate mortgages held by borrowers with high credit scores.

By KEVIN G. HALL
McClatchy News Service

WASHINGTON -- Aftershocks from the nation's financial crisis continue rumbling through the housing sector as fixed-rate mortgages held by the safest borrowers accounted for nearly 37 percent of new foreclosures during the first three months of this year, the Mortgage Bankers Association reported Wednesday.

Additionally, more than one in 10 homeowners were behind on their mortgage payments in the first quarter -- a record, the association said. That's up from 9.47 percent in the last three months of 2009.

Prime loans, those made to the safest borrowers with the highest credit scores, account for almost 66 percent of outstanding U.S. mortgages, so their rising foreclosure numbers are troubling.

``People with higher scores are defaulting at rates we have not seen in the past,'' said Jay Brinkmann, the chief economist for the trade group.

The slide into foreclosure of the strongest borrowers is partly a function of the nation's unemployment rate, which is now 9.9 percent. The Great Recession has mowed down white-collar and blue-collar workers alike.

In the first quarter, almost 21 percent of foreclosure starts were for adjustable-rate mortgages held by credit-worthy borrowers. Fixed and adjustable-rate prime mortgages combined accounted for more than 57 percent of all new foreclosures.

The MBA's data also showed that more than 6 percent of fixed-rated prime mortgages were delinquent from January to March and more than 13 percent of all homeowners with adjustable-rate prime mortgages were behind on payments.

California -- the most populous state, which accounts for more than 13 percent of all U.S. mortgages -- seems to have turned a corner in housing problems. It held 21 percent of all foreclosure starts during the first quarter of 2009 but only 14.5 percent in the first quarter of 2010.

Florida improved but only slightly, from 16.1 percent of first-quarter 2009 foreclosure starts to 15.3 percent in the same period this year.

``We're actually starting to see improvement in California. Florida is a little slower,'' Brinkmann said.

Some analysts saw the report as a glass half full, partly because of a wide variation between the numbers when they were adjusted statistically for seasonal variation. Many numbers, when not seasonally adjusted, showed a slight improvement over the final quarter of 2009. These included a drop in delinquent loans.

``I'd say we're probably hitting a turning point, but if you call me in six months, who knows?'' said Patrick Newport, an economist who specializes in housing for forecaster IHS Global Insight. He pointed to the improving labor market and a drop in serious delinquencies reported by Fannie Mae, the mortgage finance giant.

One potentially troubling trend emerged: foreclosure starts rising in states that aren't commonly viewed as housing-bubble states. Washington state posted the largest increase in foreclosure starts overall in 2010's first quarter versus a year earlier, followed by Maryland, Oregon and Georgia. Washington state also posted the largest rise in foreclosure starts that involved prime and subprime adjustable-rate mortgages.

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/05/20/1638106/prime-loans-going-bust-too.html#storylink=omni_popular#ixzz0oUy7OSeu

5 billionaires living below their means

Each of these men is worth a fortune, though you might not know it to look at them. Frugal, no-frills approaches have paid off in their businesses and their lives.

[Related content: savings, save money, frugal, spending, Warren Buffett]
By Investopedia

At least once in your life -- maybe even once a week or once a day, for that matter -- you have fantasized about coming into a lot of money. What would you do if you were worth millions or even billions?

How to save on everyday stuff

Some of you may do nothing at all. Believe it or not, there are millionaires and billionaires among us who masquerade as relatively normal, money-conscious people. Take a peek at some of the most frugal wealthy people in the world.

Quiz: Do you have a spending problem?

Warren Buffett

Millions of people read Warren Buffett's books and follow every move of his company, Berkshire Hathaway. But the real secret to Buffett's personal fortune may be his penchant for frugality.

Buffett, who is worth an estimated $47 billion, eschews opulent homes and luxury items. He still lives in a modest home in Omaha, Neb., that he purchased for $31,500 more than 50 years ago. Although Buffett has dined in the best restaurants around the globe, given the choice, he would opt for a good burger and fries accompanied by a cold cherry Coke.

When asked why he doesn't own a yacht, he responded, "Most toys are just a pain in the neck."

Carlos Slim HelĂș

While most of the world is very familiar with Bill Gates, the name Carlos Slim HelĂș rarely rings a bell. But it's a name worth knowing.

Slim, a native of Mexico, was recently named the world's richest person -- that's right, richer than the Microsoft co-founder. (Microsoft publishes MSN Money.)

Slim is worth more than $53 billion, and, while he could afford the world's most extravagant luxuries, he rarely indulges. He, like Buffett, doesn't own a yacht or plane, and he has lived in the same home for more than 40 years.

Ingvar Kamprad

The founder of Swedish furniture phenomenon Ikea struck success with affordable, assemble-it-yourself furniture. For Ingvar Kamprad, figuring out how to save money isn't just for his customers, it's a high personal value. He's been quoted as saying, "Ikea people do not drive flashy cars or stay at luxury hotels."

Could you live a car-free life?

That goes for the founder as well. He flies coach for business, and when he needs to get around town locally, he either takes a bus or heads out in his 15-year-old Volvo 240 GL.

[Related content: savings, save money, frugal, spending, Warren Buffett]

Chuck Feeney

Growing up in the wake of the Depression probably has something to do with Chuck Feeney's frugality.

With a personal motto of "I set out to work hard, not get rich," the co-founder of Duty Free Shoppers has quietly become a billionaire but even more secretively given almost all of it away through his foundation, Atlantic Philanthropies. In addition to giving more than $600 million to his alma mater, Cornell University, he has given billions to schools, research departments and hospitals.

Loath to spend if he doesn't have to, Feeney beats both Buffett and Kamprad in the donation category, giving out fewer grants than only the Ford and Bill & Melinda Gates foundations.

A frequent user of public transportation, Feeney flies economy class, buys clothes from retail stores and does not waste money on an extensive shoes closet, stating, "You can only wear one pair of shoes at a time." He raised his children in the same way, making them work the same normal summer jobs as most teens.

Frederik Meijer

If you live in the Midwest, chances are good that you shop at Frederik Meijer's chain of grocery stores. Meijer is worth more than $5 billion, and nearly half of that was amassed when everyone else was watching their net worth drop in 2009.

Like Buffett, he buys reasonably priced cars and drives them until they die, and, like Kamprad, he chooses affordable motels when traveling for work. Also, like others on this list, Meijer is focused on the good his wealth can provide to the community.

The bottom line

The little secret of some of the world's wealthiest people is that they rarely act like it. Instead of over-the-top spending, they're busy figuring out how to save and invest to have that much more in the future.

It's a habit you might want to consider in order to build up your own little storehouse of cash.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Gates backs 78 new projects for health innovation

updated 11:15 a.m. ET, Tues., May 11, 2010
LONDON - Efforts to develop a vaccine triggered by human sweat, and to control mosquitoes using carnivorous plants, were among 78 science projects that won backing from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation on Tuesday.

The foundation, a $34 billion fund that is run by the multi-billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates and invests in scientific projects broadly aimed at improving global health, said each project would get a $100,000 grant for further study.

Other winning projects include developing a low-cost cell phone microscope to diagnose malaria, using ultrasound as a reversible male contraceptive, insecticide-treated scarves and using imaging systems to seek and destroy parasites with a targeted laser vaccine.

"We are convinced that some of these ideas will lead to innovations and eventually solutions that will save lives," Tachi Yamada, of the Gates Foundation's global health program, said in a statement.

The foundation said winners were from universities, research institutes and non-profit organizations in 18 countries around the world.

One group of scientists in Germany will use their grant to develop nanoparticles that penetrate the skin through hair follicles and burst on contact with human sweat to release vaccines.

Grants will also help researchers investigate new ways to fight malaria: one team is trying to see whether treating traditional scarves worn by migrant workers along the Thai-Cambodia border with insecticide will reduce drug-resistant malaria; in Uganda, a team is testing the ability of insect-eating plants to reduce the number of malaria-transmitting mosquitoes.

Scientists in the United States will use the grant to study the ability of ultrasound to temporarily deplete testicular sperm counts for possible use as new male contraceptive.

The grants were awarded by the foundation's Grand Challenges Explorations scheme - a five-year $100 million initiative which seeks to promote innovation in global health.

Gates, the world's richest man, is co-founder of Microsoft Corp and remains chairman of the company, although he focuses much of his attention on the foundation.

Since opening in 1994, the foundation has handed out more than $21 billion in grants

Brain Spices

Tumeric- In India, where they eat curry almost every day,the Alzheimers disease rate is about 1/4 of the U S rate. A UCLA study in mice found that circumin- the active ingredient in tumeric that gives it a yellow tint-breaks up brain plaques of amyloid beta, the abnormal protein buildup that is a hallmark of Alzheimers Disease.

Ginger- A recent study found that more than 80% of migraine-prone patients with mild headaches who were treated with a combo of ginger and the herb feverfew staved off migraines. After two hours 48% were pain free; for another 34% the pain remained mild. "If a headache doesnt go to a full-blown migraine, thats success,", says Roger Cady, M. D., study author and Director of the Headache Care Center in Springfield, Missouri.

Cinnamon - If you want to react faster in your next tennis game chew cinnamon gum. A recent study found that doing so speeds up the rate at which your brain responds to visual clues. Cinnamon regulates blood sugar levels which helps one stay focused.

Source - AARP June 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

Can tiny changes save Social Security?

Report: Tweaks to taxes, benefits can eliminate shortfall
By Stephen Ohlemacher

updated 6:12 p.m. ET, Mon., May 17, 2010
WASHINGTON - Social Security faces a $5.3 trillion shortfall over the next 75 years, but a new congressional report says the massive gap could be erased with only modest changes to payroll taxes and benefits.

Some of the options are politically dangerous, such as increasing payroll taxes or reducing annual cost-of-living increases for Social Security recipients. Others, such as gradually raising the age when retirees qualify for full benefits, wouldn't be felt for years but would affect millions.

Many wouldn't affect current recipients, according to the report by the Senate Special Committee on Aging. Sen. Herb Kohl, chairman of the committee, said small "tweaks" are all that is needed to bolster Social Security's finances for future generations of retirees.

Currently, 53 million Americans get Social Security benefits averaging $1,067 a month. In 75 years, 122 million, or one-fourth of the population, will be drawing benefits.

On its current path, Social Security is projected to run out of money by 2037, largely because of aging baby boomers reaching retirement. For the first time since the 1980s, Social Security will pay out more money in benefits this year than it collects in payroll taxes. The longer action is delayed, the harder it will get to address the program's finances.

"Modest changes can be made over time that will keep the program in surplus," Kohl, D-Wis., told The Associated Press. "They are not draconian, as the report points out, and they can be done and will be done."

The committee is scheduled to release its report Tuesday. The report, obtained by the Associated Press, lays out options for fixing Social Security, but doesn't endorse any of them.

Several options

Kohl said lawmakers will probably combine several options to ease their impact. No action is expected this year, with midterm congressional elections looming in November. Lawmakers have said they hope to take up the issue next year.

Social Security is financed by a 6.2 percent payroll tax on wages below $106,800. The tax is paid by workers and matched by employers. Older Americans can apply for early retirement benefits, starting at age 62. They qualify for full benefits if they wait until they turn 66, a threshold that is gradually increasing to 67 for people born in 1960 or later.

The entire $5.3 trillion shortfall over the next 75 years would be wiped out if payroll taxes were increased by 1.1 percentage points for both workers and employers. It would also disappear if Congress started taxing all wages, not just those below $106,800, said the Senate report, citing projections by the actuaries at the Social Security Administration.

On the benefits side, more than three-fourths of the shortfall would vanish if Congress reduced annual cost-of-living increases by 1 percentage point each year. Social Security recipients get annual increases based on inflation. This January, for the first time since automatic adjustments were adopted in 1975, there was no increase because prices decreased last year.

About 23 percent of the shortfall would be gone if Congress gradually increased the age when retirees qualify for full benefits from 67 to 68. Nearly a third of the shortfall would disappear if the full retirement age were gradually increased to 70.

The Social Security trust funds have built up a $2.5 trillion surplus over the past 25 years. But the federal government has borrowed that money over the years to spend on other programs. The government must now start borrowing money from public debt markets — adding to annual budget deficits — to repay Social Security.

Widespread ramifications

The Senate panel's report will be presented to President Barack Obama's deficit reduction commission, which is expected to review all entitlement programs in the search for savings.

Many of the options sound simple, but most would have widespread ramifications, said Barbara Kennelly, president and CEO of the National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare.

"If you raise the retirement age and you don't do anything about the pension law or anything about retraining, and there's been no discussion on that, where are the jobs?" asked Kennelly, a former Democratic congresswoman from Connecticut. "It's not so simple."

One expert cautioned that adjustments designed to fully fund Social Security for only 75 years will almost certainly have to be revisited well before then.

Here's why: In 15 or 20 years, the Social Security trustees will be looking at a new 75-year window, one that includes future shortfalls beyond the current 75-year horizon. Those shortfalls will have to be addressed years in advance to avoid dramatic tax increases or significant benefit cuts, said Kent Smetters, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton business school.

"If you only fix it for 75 years at a time, the same problem suddenly reappears every 15 to 20 years," Smetters said.